An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost....I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

III

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in....it's a habit...but,
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

--Anonymous

Thought for the day.............

"While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is making mistakes and becoming superior." --Henry C. Link

Thought for the day.........

"If people knew how hard I have to work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem wonderful at all." ---Michelangelo

Cute like yourself..........

Here is the scene: two five-year-olds are playing. One is mimicking the other. The following conversation ensued:

"Don't copy me!"
"But you are so cute"!
"You don't get cute by copying anyone."
"Then how did you get so cute?"
"God made me that way."
"How can I get cute like you"?
"You can't get cute like me. You have to get cute like you. That's the way God works."

Out of the mouth of babes.........

We have been hypnotized into believing that we must make ourselves more like other people to become lovable, while our greatest strength lies in expressing our unique gifts.

----story taken from Dare To Be Yourself by Alan Cohen

Thought for the day..........

"Faith means living with uncertainty.......feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark". -- Dan Millman

Life is like a broken refrigerator............

My refrigerator died on Thursday. Now, in and of itself, that's not such a tragedy except that it's the beginning of the month, mortgage is due, bills to be paid and who needs another big expense, right? Oh well. I threw out all the spoiled food and got myself a couple of coolers, lots of ice (which pretty much melted as I tried to bring it home in the car in 112 degree Arizona heat!), and set up shop in a remote corner of the kitchen until the new refrigerator could be delivered today.

What has amazed me over the last few days was how many times I opened that refrigerator door to get something to eat or at least to see what I wanted to eat. (Believe me, Ben & Jerry were calling me but I had no freezer to put them in!) Now, I knew the refrigerator was broken. I knew there was no food in it. I knew the food was in the cooler on the other side of the kitchen. But I kept going back to what was familiar even though I knew I couldn't get what I wanted! Hmmmm......

I started thinking what a great metaphor this was for life. How many times have we all done the same thing? We keep doing what hasn't worked in our lives, over and over, hoping for a different and more satisfying result. We keep trying to get what we want from places, people and things that can't provide us with what we want and need. But we do it anyway. It's a habit. Sometimes it's unconscious. Sometimes we see that we're doing it but we can't seem to stop. There is something so comfortable and so safe about not having to change. But at what price?

Back to my refrigerator story. The price of my consistently going back to an empty refrigerator was "no food"....no satisfying a basic need. As the old song says, "Looking for love in all the wrong places". I had to actually, at least for a few days, train myself to go to the part of the kitchen where I could get my needs met. I had to take a different route, to an unfamiliar place, to get what I wanted.I know it seems like such a silly and simple story, but it was a very impactful metaphor for me.

So, the delivery man came and took away my old refrigerator. As he loaded it on the truck and I cleaned up the ugly mess that we all hate to deal with under refrigerators (ugh), I strangely felt a little nostalgic. Kind of like my "old ways" were going out the front door. I wondered if I had the courage to create some new ways of being and maybe create a new and more positive metaphor with my new refrigerator. What things could I put in it that would truly support my well-being? Could I emerge enough from being on auto-pilot and take a different, more thoughtful road? Perhaps put more fresh foods and less processed foods (now that's a novel thought)? I doubt that I will do it perfectly, but at least I've been "nudged" to wake up. I see some new possibilities. It is an opportunity to move closer to my goal of better health and I am going to take advantage of it.

So, my new refrigerator is all set up and has already begun to make ice! Hooray! It actually doesn't look much different than my old one but, in it's own little way, it has had a real impact on my life.

Well, off to Safeway!

Thought for the day.......

"Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to."
-author unknown

Time to Relax!

Well, after several weeks of whirlwind activity, I have been looking forward to this 3-day holiday weekend to just relax. You know.........just hang out........no shower, no make-up, living in my pj's. But I realized that that's often easier said than done!

When the body and mind have been in a major "action" mode for an extended period of time, it's difficult to just say "stop" and expect the body to immediately shift gears. As I've gotten older, I am more successful at pacing myself and not getting into my usual overachiever, overadrenaline mode. Most of the time, I am aware of the part of me that is driven and I am able to balance it with some deep breathing, meditation and appreciation for the me that gets things done.

But, sometimes, I slip back into old patterns.....exhausting ones.....that don't support who I am and who I want to be. That "get the job done at any cost" mode which, although fulfilling at some level, is just a killer. Unfortunately, there is a price to pay for living life at warp speed, like needing to take the first 2 days of a 3 day weekend to decompress! It wasn't until this afternoon that I could feel my body start to let go. It was so lovely! I stretched out on the sofa, watched a Lifetime movie, read a little and took a long, long nap. Aaahhh! Heaven!

So now I am officially relaxed, the kind of relaxed you get when you are on vacation, and plan to stay that way for what's left of this weekend. I've put reminders on my vision board and on my office walls which nudge me to always keep a part of myself on vacation. I need this to stay in balance, to be whole, and it's nice to remember that I can have all of it........the drive to be productive AND the ability to relax........at the same time. Lord knows it takes lots of practice, but it can be done.

So, sorry, gotta run. There's another late night Lifetime chick-flick coming on! Maybe I'll watch it in bed!!

Happy weekend!!